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Julia Grey
© 2003-2023 by Julia Grey. All rights reserved.
Coming soon!
Julia Grey
The Lies We're Told
~~~
Childhood sexual abuse.
~~~
Upon the Realization of the Death of a rapist
The nightmare you were
ended on my terms
before you died
I put you down
like a diseased rat
The good in you
long since bartered
- like your conscience
- like your truth
The nightmare you were
Now, an echo
- shattered
upon the ramparts
of my being
The foul remnants stain
what can never be clean
what clothes can’t hide
Let it serve a warning
That the nightmare you were
has no audience
This child has grown
to hunt the hunter
to heal the hurt
to shine light
on the ink black
of your poison
...and give no quarter
to the nightmare you were.
 An abuser's number one tool is deceit. From the lies told and the acts put on to lure in a child, to the stories required - often via threat - to cover it all up, Truth quickly becomes elusive. From the series, "The Lies We're Told", © 2017 Julian Grey. All rights reserved. Techniques: Low Key OST |  A reference to the expression "the elephant in the room". Families of abuse are great at never addressing the elephants in their midst. From the series, "The Lies We're Told", © 2017 Julian Grey. All rights reserved. Techniques: Low Key OST |
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 From the series, "The Lies We're Told", © 2020 Julia Grey. All rights reserved. Techniques: Low Key OST |  It's not about loss of innocence. It's about being force fed the worst of humanity at a time when spirit and brain are still developing. It's about owning that knowledge and having to build a life around never feeling safe and always feeling damaged, used, unwanted. From the series, "The Lies We're Told", © 2017 Julian Grey. All rights reserved. Techniques: Low Key OST |
 Taught at a young age to disbelieve what they see and feel, abused children often grow up with low emotional IQs especially when it comes to sex, intimacy and relationships. It is like trying to navigate a room in near darkness where what is visible is not discernible. From the series, "The Lies We're Told", © 2017 Julian Grey. All rights reserved. Techniques: Low Key OST |  I was raped at 7 years of age by a 15 year old boy. He lured me into the woods near the neighborhood pool I frequented, where he attacked me. I yelled for help and eventually a few older boys found him on top of me. They beat him severely. I had been traumatized already and seeing this boy beaten so made it worse. I cried out for my rescuers to stop. Perplexed, they did. The rapist fled. From the series, "The Lies We're Told", © 2017 Julian Grey. All rights reserved. Techniques: Low Key OST |
 An inability to navigate social/sexual/intimate situations often leads to isolation and depression. From the series, "The Lies We're Told", © 2017 Julian Grey. All rights reserved. Techniques: Low Key OST |  The cost of secrecy in families of abuse is paid in depression, handed-down abuse, dysfunctional relations and more - including suicide. From the series, "The Lies We're Told", © 2017 Julian Grey. All rights reserved. Techniques: Standard photograph |
 I was molested/raped/beaten by an older sibling for 3 years, mostly at night and often while sleeping. From the series, "The Lies We're Told", © 2017 Julian Grey. All rights reserved. Techniques: Low Key OST |  Children who have been abused sexually are marked - as if stained - and can be detected by predators more easily. This is a universal truth with every survivor I have spoken to about this. No amount of clothing, emotional buttressing, or attention to facial expression can hide this mark. From the series, "The Lies We're Told", © 2017 Julian Grey. All rights reserved. Techniques: Standard photograph |
 On being in a locker room in junior high school after being called a faggot, for the first time, by one of the girl students. Due to the molestation and rapes - at the hands of older males - I feared she was right. I was terrified the boys in the locker room would find out. From the series, "The Lies We're Told", © 2017 Julian Grey. All rights reserved. Techniques: Low Key OST |  Never far away are the apparitions of the past. From the series, "The Lies We're Told", © 2017 Julian Grey. All rights reserved. Techniques: Low Key OST |
 What do you do when you look nearly identical to the person who raped and beat you for 3 years? You stay away from mirrors. From the series, "The Lies We're Told", © 2017 Julian Grey. All rights reserved. Techniques: Low Key OST |  Raped by a priest who, in a premeditated move, positioned his mean-as-hell 95 pound German Shepherd to make sure I couldn't fight it or get away. From the series, "The Lies We're Told", © 2017 Julian Grey. All rights reserved. Techniques: Low Key OST |
 From the series, "The Lies We're Told", © 2017 Julian Grey. All rights reserved. Techniques: Low Key OST |  It wasn't all violence. Much of it was coercion. From the series, "The Lies We're Told", © 2017 Julian Grey. All rights reserved. Techniques: Low Key OST |
 Though I carry the weight of childhood sexual abuse, I am loved and healthy. I am also fortunate to have been born with a strong sense of self love and that has carried and even buoyed me over the years... From the series, "The Lies We're Told", © 2017 Julian Grey. All rights reserved. Techniques: Low Key OST |
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